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For a part of my GCSE English Coursework I had to write a teen magazine love story. This is mine: STARVING FOR LOVE The day when Ryan asked me out was probably one of the best days of my life so far. All the girls at school were crazy about him and never thought I'd stand a chance with him. It wasn't as if I was the 'best-looking chick' at school. He, however was the sexiest guy I knew, with his boyish good-looks, hazel eyes and dreamy smile.
We had been going steady for about three months -we really enjoyed being together and alwats had a great laugh, when it got to the point that I began to feel that he wasn't attracted to me anymore. I always got the feeling that he was staring at the Kate Moss look-alikes who wore skirts that you could hardly see. They all had the long, skinny legs for those clothes. I had always been unhappy with my weight and even though I wasn't really fat, I desperately wanted to be like those girls that Ryan seemed to be staring at all the time.
I started off by skipping breakfast and lunch, relling my mum that I was eating at the canteen with my two best friends, Vikki and Kim, when really I was just surviving on a can of 'diet Coke'. I would eat a small amount of the dinner that my mum cooked so she wouldn't notice anything.
I had been surviving like this for six months, when Ryan confronted me.
"Nat, you look really ill, are you okay?" His voice, soft yet sexy warmed me as it always had.
"Me? Yeah, I'm great. You?" The truth was that I was starting to feel really weak and I was annoyed that he hadn't noticed that I had lost 20lbs already. I was really pleased with myself. I decided that I would have to lose some more to get stunning legs like those tarty girls he seemed to fancy.
"Seriously Nat, I'm worried about you. I've already spoken to Vikki and Kim and they say that they are worried too. They say you don't eat anything." He sounded sympathetic but I felt angry at the fact that they had been gossiping about me behind my back.
"Look," I shouted, "None of you understand me, do you? Why can't you just leave me alone?"
After we had that conversation, I got even worse. I couldn't bring myself to eat anything at all. I survived on water and diet soda until one day, about another six months later, I fainted in the middle of P.E.
I was rushed into hospital, but I can't remember much about it, except the first time Ryan visited me. I noticed he had been crying when he walked in -his face was tear-stained. He came over to me and wrapped his strong arms around me. "Nat, I love you so much but I can't understand why you've done this". This set me off crying.
"I did it for you, so you can say your girlfriend has the perfect body," I explained.
"My girlfriend did have the perfect body but now..." He dropped his head.
"What?!? You don't like what I have done for you?" I was shocked.
"The reason why I asked you out was because you are such a fun, cool and friendly person and you had a sexy shape, not fat but not a stick." He wiped my tears away with his little finger.
"But you were always looking at those skinny tarts," I whimpered.
"They disgust me. I feel awful, if only I'd realised sooner," he said, staring into my eyes.
Ryan comes to visit me every day but he still blames himself for what I have done. I know it was my fault, I should have talked to him. I can't believe I inflicted so much on my body. I am lucky to still be alive.
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